


The Adventure of the New Neighbors

by PhantomWriter5



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Detectives, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Investigating, M/M, POV Outsider, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:37:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomWriter5/pseuds/PhantomWriter5
Summary: Alisa Rockwood was a detective. But, there wasn't too much to dectect in the sleepy village of South Downs. That is, untill two strange new neighbors arrive.





	The Adventure of the New Neighbors

Alisa Rockwood had lived in the village her whole life. New people rarely came. But today was different. There was a new couple moving in to what had been previously a vacant house for much of Alisa’s 14 years of life. She needed to investigate them. Alisa called her best friend, Ryder to tell him to come over immediately. Alisa put down her phone on the desk beside her, slipped on her glasses, and brushed her ginger hair from her face. She had pale skin and dark brown eyes. In her opinion, makeup was something other people dealt with. A ring came from the front of the house. That was probably Ryder. Alisa ran to the door and opened it. Sure enough, there was her best friend. “You called?” Ryder said, trying to be dorkily heroic. Alisa laughed.

“Yes, come inside.” She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into her room.

“So what’s the big deal?” Ryder asked when they were safely seated on Alisa’s bed.

“There’s a new couple in town.” Alisa whispered excitedly, like it was some kind of secret. It wasn’t. Everyone had noticed, including Ryder, but it was still a hot topic of debate among the residents of the South Downs. Nobody knew exactly who they were or what they looked like. All anyone knew was that there were two people, presumably a couple, that had moved into the cottage by the lake. There had been rumors of a vintage car moving through the village in the general direction of the cottage. But the investigations ended there, as people in the village frowned upon snooping. Alisa, on the other hand, loved a good mystery, and she was ready to unravel it.  
“And you want to investigate it?” Ryder guessed. He gave her a knowing smile. “Alisa, I’m sure there’s nothing special about them, anyway. Just an old couple, a thousand years old, probably, just coming here for retirement. That’s how it is with most of the village anyways.”

“Yes, but what if it’s someone exciting? They could have kids!” Alisa was pleading now, and she knew it. It might be the only chance for investigation she could get though, so she was persistent.

“They don’t have kids.” Ryder assured her. “I mean, did you see that car a few days ago? Way too fancy to let a kid inside.”

“Maybe you’re right, but it would still be an adventure! We haven’t done practically anything this Summer. We have to make it count!” Ryder rolled his eyes, smiling. It had been a while since they had had a proper adventure.

“Alright, but the moment they hand us hard candy, I’m out of there.” Ryder stuck his hand out and Alisa shook it. This was going to be fun.  
“I don’t see what’s the point of all this.” Ryder grumbled. They had been sitting in a bush nearby to the cottage for what had seemed like hours in Ryder’s mind. Alisa had her binoculars ready to spot any suspicious behavior. So far, all the had seen were small glimpses of black, red, and the occasional cream. It wasn’t much to go off of, but it seemed like they weren’t absolutely ancient, which was a good sign. Alisa shushed the boy next to her and kept watching the house. A moment later, she heard a door swing open. She tensed up excitedly and grabbed Ryder’s arm. “They’re coming!” she whisper-yelled. A man stepped out of the doorway and into the backyard. He looked middle-aged, with vibrant ginger hair and black clothes. He was wearing round sunglasses, and he was smiling brightly, like this was all he could ever ask for. The man walked -- well, it was more of a saunter, really -- into the garden in the back of the house. Alisa and Ryder watched as he got out a green, transparent spray bottle and started spraying the plants. Alisa shook Ryder’s arm, her grasp still firm. “He’s a gardener!” she whispered, trying to be quiet so they wouldn’t reveal themselves. 

“I see that.” Ryder chuckled. The man did have the oddest way of watering them, though. From their spot, they could see his mouth moving animatedly, like he was talking to the plants. How ridiculous. Alisa thought. It’s not like the plants could hear you or anything. They were just… well they were just plants, of course. When the man finished with the garden, he headed to the front of the house, where the two were hiding. Alisa let go of Ryder’s arm and tried to conceal herself deeper in the bush. The garage near the house opened as if on it’s own accord. Inside was the large, black, vintage car they had seen a few days ago. It looked surprisingly well looked after. It didn’t have that old car look that you normally saw these days. Like the owner had to tinker with it every Sunday in order for it to run. This car, however, didn’t have a scratch on it and looked like it was brand new. The only thing about it that Alisa was sure hadn’t come with the original purchasing was a sign on the bumper. It sayed “Just Married.”

“Ryder, look! He just got married.” Alisa took out the notepad she had brought and wrote down everything they had learned so far. She scribbled down goth, gardener, and -- her writing was interrupted by a voice she hadn’t heard before.

“What the deuce are you doing in there?” the voice said. Alisa froze and so did Ryder. Drats, caught! 

“Um...” Alisa stumbled for an excuse, but when she couldn’t find one, the stranger offered his hand to help her and Ryder out of the bush.

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled. Two of his teeth seemed to be abnormally sharp, which would have been a cause for concern in Alisa’s mind, but he did seem ever so nice. “Angel!” He called out to the house. A head popped out of the doorway. It had bright white hair that was fluffy as heck. The figure walked outside toward the stranger. He wore a cream tailored jacket and a tartan bow tie. His whole appearance gave the impression of a warm marshmallow. In other words, he was the polar opposite of the stranger, but somehow, the fit together. Like two pieces of a long-forgotten puzzle. “What is -- oh! Hello.” The new person finally took notice of the two. He new man stuck his hand out politely and smiled. It was a radiant smile, one that made Alisa feel all warm inside. His mannerisms also reminded her vaguely of the old movies from the 50s her mother always insisted upon watching. Ryder and Alisa shook the man’s hand. “My name is Aziraphale.” the stranger -- Aziraphale -- said, finally giving the two an introduction. “And this is Crowley.” he said, gesturing to his partner. Crowley gave a small wave. 

“We’re sorry for spying on you.” Alisa said.

“Oh that’s what you were doing, eh? Spying on the new neighbors?” Crowley seemed more amused than angry, which made Alisa relax a bit.

“We were curious.” Alisa admitted. “It can get dreadfully boring here, and new people almost never come.” she lowered her voice. “Some people say it’s haunted. That’s why no one new has ever been able to move in without leaving soon after.” Crowley and Aziraphale exchanged knowing glances, which confused Alisa a bit. She decided it wasn’t important and didn’t take note of it.

“Would you like to come inside?” Aziraphale offered. “Crowley got us crêpes.” His whole face lit up at that. They must have been really good crêpes, Alisa reasoned.

“Yes, please!” Ryder eagerly exclaimed. Anything involving food that wasn’t age-old candy was fine by him. Aziraphale ushered them into the house, with Crowley at the back of the group.

The inside of the house was quaint and cozy, but somehow spacious, even with all the furniture and bookshelves, and potted plants. Before Alisa could wonder how that was even possible, Aziraphale brought out a tray of delicious-looking crêpes. Ryder instantly took one of the pastries and brought it to his mouth, groaning in delight. Alisa laughed a bit, but didn’t indulge until Aziraphale had one, just in case. You never knew when strangers would give you poison-filled crêpes. Then again, she knew the moment Crowley had called Aziraphale “angel,” she shouldn’t be worried. 

Aziraphale sat upright on the couch across from Alisa and Ryder, while Crowley was more… sprawled. Alisa found this rather amusing.

“You know, I’ve always said,” Aziraphale commented in between swallows. “that you can only get decent ones in Paris… but these are marvelous, my dear.” Crowley chuckled. “That’s because they’re from Paris.” Alisa didn’t know how he was able to go to Paris and return so quickly, after he’d presumably just gotten married. Wait a second.

“Are you two married?” Alisa asked, shyly.

“That we are.” Crowley proudly said. He wrapped a long arm around Aziraphale’s waist and pulled him closer. Aziraphale blushed furiously. “I assume you saw my car then?” Alisa and Ryder nodded. “Quite perceptive then, aren’t we?” There was that mischievous smile again. This time, it was Alisa’s turn to blush. 

“Yeah. I want to be a detective when I grow up.”

“Really?” Aziraphale asked. “Well, in that case...” he stood up, and Crowley looked at him curiously. Aziraphale walked over to his bookshelf and plucked an old book from the shelf. He gingerly handed it to Alisa. “It’s a first edition signed copy of--”

“Sherlock Holmes!” Alisa practically screeched. No absolute way. She didn’t even know one of these existed anymore, and here it was. In her hands. “Can I borrow it?” she was bouncing up and down on the sofa, and Ryder was giving her a knowing look. Aziraphale laughed.

“Of course not, dear girl.” He said with that warm smile again. Alisa frowned. “You can keep it.” Alisa’s jaw dropped as she hugged the book close to her chest. “Thank you!” Aziraphale glanced outside. “Now you two better be heading home. It’s getting dark. Perhaps we can meet again some time?”

“Definitely!” Alisa happily twittered as she stood swiftly. “Come on, Ryder.” she ushered the boy away from the plate and to the door. “See you soon, then.”

“Yep.” Crowley said, popping his “p”. As they started to walk away, he got up. “Do you two need a ride back?” he asked. Alisa exchanged a glance with Ryder, who nodded eagerly. 

“Yes, please.” she said. Crowley smiled and snapped his fingers. The car in the garage beeped. Alisa raised an eyebrow. “That’s -- cool.” Crowley gestured for them to follow him outside, and behind him Aziraphale called, “Now please, don’t go to fast for them!” Crowley assured him he wouldn’t and entered the garage.

The car was way nicer than Alisa had thought. The seats were made up of some kind of beige leather, and the outside was sleek and shiny. She opened the door and stepped inside, trying to be careful with the expensive material. She automatically reached up for the seatbelt, but there wasn’t one. That couldn’t be entirely safe, but it’s not like there were many other cars to bump into along the way to her house. And Aziraphale had told him not to go too fast. Did that mean he normally did? She hoped not. With two more snaps, Crowley opened the right side door and turned on the car. He sat down in the driver’s seat and mantained a steady speed of 60 miles per hour. He turned on the radio and almost immediately, Bicycle Race started playing. Alisa looked over the front seat and asked if there was any other music. Crowley just laughed and gestured to a compartment. Inside were several different discs and a large selection of rounded sunglasses, exactly like the ones he wore now. Alisa randomly pulled out Beethoven and put the disc in. Instead of Fur Elise, as she had been expecting, she was met with We Will Rock You. When her expression took a confusing turn as she fumbled for Shubert only to find Somebody to Love, Crowley gave her a hasty explanation. 

“Whenever something gets left in the car over a fortnight it just turns to Queen.” he smiled, but she didn’t believe him.

“You’re lying.” Alisa said curtly, sitting back down. “That makes absolutely no sense.”

“A lot of things in this world don’t make sense.” Crowley agreed. “Trust me.” Alisa slumped in her seat the rest of the way while Freddie Mercury’s voice rang in her ears.

When they finally arrived home, Alisa thanked the man and got out. Ryder’s house was just down the block, but Crowley offered to drive him all the way. She said goodbye and told Ryder she’d see him tomorrow. Alisa walked inside and went straight to her room. She took out her notebook and pen, but realized she had entirely forgotten the copy of Sherlock Holmes Aziraphale had given her. She frowned, but made sure to write everything else she’d learned about the new couple. Under Aziraphale’s column she wrote fluffy, friendly, and a bibliophile. And under Crowley’s column, goth, gardener, and gay. She went to bed quite pleased with herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably add more chapters soon, so saty tuned! I hope you liked it! :D


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